I get a journal prompt every day and the alternate for today is have you ever been truly, madly, deeply in love with anyone? What is the difference between that and just loving someone? The answer to the first question is yes, two people, actually. My husband and my little boy. Obviously that love manifests in a little different ways with those two people, although I suppose in some ways they are the same, too. For instance, I cook for both of them. Nourishing their physical bodies on a very regular basis. I also give them hugs and kisses. And well, I had to do something else with my husband to get that little boy...you should know what that is, if you do not, it is not up to me to tell you that here. Anybody can do those things though, not that just anybody should, but that is another story all together.
So, what makes it different? For starters, there is the doing things that you do not want to do, and I do not mean just getting up and getting someone a drink, or watching something that you do not want to watch on TV because someone else wants to, but those things that you really do not want to do. Giving things up for the sake of the other person, things that really matter to you. For instance, having children. Yup, I have one now, but he took a long time, and he only came after I gave up the notion of ever having him. At first, because Ben decided he did not want kids, and then after he changed his mind, the fact that I just plain did not get pregnant for a long time--several years. The moment I told him I was pregnant, though, any notion that may have lingered about him not wanting kids went out the window and when he got to see and hold our tiny, little baby boy, I am pretty sure his heart melted.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
To say that this is the beginning of anything is really a misnomer, the only thing that it is the beginning of is this blog. Nothing else is really changing with this initial post. I am a wife and mother that lives in a tiny town in Iowa. I have lived in several states since getting married 12 years ago. My son is 17 months old today. He is quick with smiles and hugs and completely adorable. He took a long time to conceive and could have died on us several times over before he was born. We are blessed by him. I pray that I will do my best by him, with Gods help. I will need Gods help, definitely. I have issues, as you'll find out before long. Hormonal ones, chemical imbalances, that sometimes interfere with my ability to do the things that I want to do. That isn't an excuse, it is reality. This blog, this airing of my thoughts and prayers, I hope, will be a way to understand how to deal with them in a positive way. Whether anyone besides me reads it is irrelevant.
My prayer for tonight:
Father, I love you. I ask that you give Ben restorative rest tonight. He is so tired, these long days of work, so many in a row, drain him. I know that it thrills him to see little man's bright smiles and hear his giggles when he comes home after a long day. Help him to come home, also, to a wife with a smile and the ability to do the things tasked to me. You are the Creator, the Perfecter, and I ask that you lessen me and increase You, so that there is no question as to who is to be thanked, to whom the glory should be given. Thank you.